The Buzz

Congratulations, you ended up in a romantic comedy! Do not worry this is a “How to” guide on surviving your first rom-com. As a reminder, this is all based on past experience and multiple experiments. In this, you will have the do’s and don’ts. Just remember, do NOT fall in love or the movie will end. Good luck! 

The first thing you have to establish is that you are indeed in a romantic comedy, which means that is at most rated PG-13. Whilst trying to accept your fate, please try and stay in one place during your mental breakdown. And please do not check yourself into a mental hospital, you will just meet a hot nurse or doctor who wants to ‘cure’ you. Now, you might be in a state of shock that your surroundings might have changed but do not worry that happens to everyone. You will also notice the physical change in yourself, such as the fact that you might be unnaturally glowing. Or the fact that your horrible back posture is now magically fixed. That mi amigo is the power of film production. Then you have to check your pockets. You might find items in there that are crucial to the plot of the movie, for instance:

• Apartment keys
• A Napkin with a phone number and/or a lipstick kiss
• Perfume
• Lipstick
• Wallet
• Agency Card, etc.

The only good thing out of all this is that you look good doing anything and all of the basic commodities are prepaid for. You also can’t get sick unless that is part of the plot, of course. At first, you might want to defy the plot but it’s hopeless. The only thing you can do is prolong the plot or speed it up. 

#1 Prolonging the Plot:

Hope that you aren’t too attached to your friends cause they are now all NPCs; only given a certain amount of lines and don’t have a lot of brains nor know how to react like a real person. Oh, and if you had a best friend you might want to give up on the relationship. They always end up falling for you, so best to skip those awkward feelings. When exploring outside, be careful to stick to the inside of the sidewalk, to avoid cars splashing you (this is a comedy after all). When walking pay extra attention to everyone around you and avoid all destruction, construction, or disasters with your life. Trust  this, one time a participant almost stepped on a puddle when three guys put their coats over it. It is also extremely important to know the date, for instance, if it is Christmas avoid plaid like the plague. Hah, that rhymed. On the note of clothing even though all your old clothes disappear and new ‘trendy’ ones appear, try to stick to a more mundane color palette. You want to look like an extra or a background character. It is best to stay out of the camera’s way, speaking of which depending on what rom-com you’re in you might be able to see the camera. Please do not break the fourth wall or have your own personal “Fleabag” moments.  It might be weird seeing a camera that only you can see, but you get used to it after a while. Sometimes participants forget that it’s there and bump into it, which kind of just resets everything for that scene. Including the participant themself, they will disappear for a second before going back into their original position.

If you come to realize that you are one of the main characters of the movie and you still do not want anything to do with the plot. You can try and fly to a different continent or country but the main lead will always follow you or will have that dramatic airport scene. Trust me, this airport scene is one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to participants during the whole production. One of the downfalls of being the main character is every once in a while doing the most random things everyone and everything around you will suddenly be in slow motion. Don’t look at the person causing this, just trying to get out of their line of sight is your best bet for trying to get everything back to normal. It is advised and tested that you should throw an opened water bottle at them, which usually snaps them out of it. And adds to the comedic effect. 

Things to avoid, doctors and health care professionals are high up on this list. Don’t go to the hospital unless it’s a life-or-death situation. Cause there is a 76% chance that your doctor is Tom Ellis who ‘falls in love at first sight’ with you. Do not fall for his hot British accent. Next is the rain, this is kinda hard to do if you’re not the main character. It always rains when they’re sad or something depressing just happened or even if it’s for comedic effects. Just purchase one of those foldable umbrellas, because, by the end of the movie, you’ll just think the main character has some personality disorder or something. The next thing that is somewhat easy to deal with, is exes. Now, this may come very simple to some of you, if you never had a relationship or if you ended the relationship healthily. Remember that this is a movie and they will do anything to entertain the audience. Which does include fabricating an entire person just to make your life a little bit more difficult. This ‘ex’ of yours will either be better or worse than you. Either unkempt hair or beard, baggy clothes, and a sorrowful expression that screams ‘I can’t live without you’ will pop up on your doorstep. Or they will have some type of fancy clothes and most likely have some type of obvious rebound. One would prefer the unkempt one because the other ex is presumably obsessed with you. Even though they will never admit that they miss you, make sure that you know that they are doing just fine without you.

The last thing that needs to be avoided is its paragraph just to add emphasis. Heroes. Does not matter if they have superpowers or not, do not come in contact with them. Although it is rare for subjects to enter a world with superheroes, it has been proven that relationships with these heroes have a 78% chance of being toxic. The reason is, they don’t understand how to function in healthy relationships. It because they always have that traumatic experience that makes them want to be a hero, but they fail to accept that trauma and process it. Not much of a hero if you ask me…but should new information arise about these super people the organization will take responsibility for updating these guides. 

#2 Speeding up the Plot:

It is advised that you should study what makes a rom-com a romantic comedy. It is composed of two basic elements: “A Central Love Story: The main plot centers around individuals falling in love and struggling to make the relationship work. A writer can include as many subplots as they want as long as the love story is the main focus of the novel. An Emotionally Satisfying and Optimistic Ending: In a romance, the lovers who risk and struggle for each other and their relationship are rewarded with emotional justice and unconditional love” (NPD Books Romance Landscape). One would advise you to try and find your love interest, this can vary on how much of a slow burn the movie is.  This might be difficult because the plot of the movie can change whenever and can trick you into thinking that you found the love interest but in reality, it’s a distraction from the actual love interest. So be cautious and not jump on the next person you see who stares at you. 

Based on some subjects’ experiences you might be in either a movie or tv show. It is optimal, if you want to get this over with,  to be in a movie, but then again it isn’t your choice. One way to check if you’re in a tv show is the dramatic change of events that happen each day or the time skip from one day to the next. Don’t worry this doesn’t affect your sleep or energy levels but it can confuse you. The last genre people fall into are musicals, the subject talks about how annoying it gets after a while. For instance, any strong emotion can trigger people to break out into songs. It is advised to purchase some noise-canceling headphones and stand still to avoid bumping into the background dancers and drawing attention. But the good thing about musicals is that it is easier to find the main love interest because they tend to solo a lot or have a dance break. It has been concluded that when the people in the musical see you not going along with the song, they will try to make you dance with them. Volunteers find themselves compelled to dance sometimes and with no practice synchronize perfectly with the background character. But this doesn’t change the fact that they get tired after the dance, and some have passed out from exhaustion.

Let this bring to your attention that the organization has no actual proof of what happens when the movie ends. So best you pray that there is a sequel.

Summary:

All in all, you’re stuck now which sucks but look at the bright side you’re hot now. As a checklist of what type of romantic comedy you could be in

1. The Cute Meets Cute – usually meet by embarrassing themselves
2. Enemies to lovers – one of the most popular tropes, (usually with the villian)
3. Forced Proximity – there’s only a one-bed trope or stranded
4. Destiny- a classic trope, but lazy with the plot
5. Childhood sweethearts – popular with young adults, friends to lovers
6. Forbidden/Impossible Love – that one obstacle that keeps the love interest apart and how far they are willing to go for their lover
7. Second Chance Love – the biggest will they, won’t they risker
8. The Bet – when the jock places a bet that he can get the nerd, but not before she realizes and loses all her trust in him. Depending on the year the movie takes place will determine how misogynistic it will be. 
9. Fake Relationship – ranges from high school to marriage, towards the end they realize that they aren’t faking their love. 
10. Love Triangle – kinda tiring and corny, but adds a lot of tension 
11. Opposites Attract – sunshine and grumpy is a classic relationship in rom-coms
12. It Was Right In Front Of You All Along! – Frustrating to watch and act out a belated love epiphany, tends to include an airport scene so watch out.

But something they all have in common is the happy ending, otherwise, it wouldn’t be a romance. But don’t get messed up thinking that the couple has to end up together because sometimes that isn’t the case. Moreover, the purpose is to make people believe in true love and give the audience hope. This experimental control is exposed to the audience when watching rom-coms because they expect a happy ending. This repetition causes a sense of comfort for some people. To get into scientific terms, when the brain experiences something that it likes, it will release several hormones like dopamine, endorphin, and oxytocin. These are responsible for making you feel good and getting those butterflies in your stomach and a fast heart rate. For others, it is like they are the ones falling in love, and wish they are in the main character’s shoes. Which is highly ironic considering your position. 

Something that you have to realize is that the organization has no idea why this is happening. All we can do is prepare you for the battlefield but currently, we have no idea how to take you back out. Make sure to keep this guide on hand and don’t let anyone see it. Good luck soldier.