The Buzz

Dear Ms. B,

I am so completely and totally confused.  I started this school year out feeling charitable.  I took a seemingly hopeless girl under my wing and allowed her to experience a higher level of social status at school than she ever would have encountered.  I even tried to get her a boyfriend.  Then, she turns around and insults me, after all I’ve done for her.

Besides this girl, I have also been having boy problems.  It seems that every boy I meet is absolutely wrong for me.  All they do is use me and no one cares for a real, mature relationship, and I’m just like, “as if!?!?”  And, on top of all of that, this guy won’t leave me alone! Ugh, I’ve always hated him.  But maybe now I don’t—I don’t know!  I am so mixed up, please help me.

From, 

Clueless

Dear Clueless,

It seems that you have been going about all of this completely the wrong way.  Did you help this girl because you truly felt bad for her, or because you wanted to live vicariously through someone else to get the relationship you truly want for yourself?  Maybe you should reflect and make sure you are happy with yourself before trying to change someone else.

About your boy problems, it seems that your answer is right in front of you.  Have you ever thought that maybe your hate for this boy stems from a fear of intimacy with someone good for you.  Maybe the reason all the boys you’ve been with have been wrong for you is because you like knowing it won’t work out.  Maybe you are scared of a real commitment, and if your relationships never work out, you never have to deal with that.

I hope you figure everything out, 

Ms. B