The Buzz

I do believe in new beginnings—and always adjust fairly quickly. I suppose this just took extra long…understandably. I’ve been told a million times that we aren’t the “top dogs” anymore—we’re back at the bottom just like three years ago. I feel like we’ve all been scared into the high school experience…that it should be something we should be seriously worrying about. Me—coming from a long line of worriers—laid awake at night on my bed months before September. The feeling in my stomach was sickening. I hyperventilated as the walls closed in on me, closer, closer, and the darkness had seeped into my bedroom. Anxiety. That’s all. Just anxiety. A normal human feeling. And I know I wasn’t the only one. Every freshman was experiencing this.

The building wasn’t the problem. It was still generally the same, only the addition of the classrooms on three huge floors. The first day, I honestly didn’t expect that many people to show up to the correct classroom—as the hallways wind around sharp corners and seem like they go on endlessly for miles like the sea. And talk about that big glass skylight! Towering above the balconies connected by each floor. It’s like a hallway upgrade in a way!

There’s always tons of students in the hallway. I know they have to pack in four grades at once during passing time, but most linger around for extended periods of time. I never really see my fellow freshman lingering, it’s mostly the upperclassmen (understandably). But whenever I get to class, even the slightest time past when my friends leave, it seems that everyone suddenly appears out of thin air in their seats when I arrive in the doorway. I like to think of the high school hallways as real life traffic. I mean, think about it! You always walk to the right side and there’s constant stop, and go. Also speeding. Some people zoom down the halls when they are late, but others go excessively slow. I have a strong feeling that it’s on purpose…to have as little class time as possible.

The work was expected. Now grades actually matter for the future. It’s scary thinking that ahead—planning the future. I’ll bet you half the class doesn’t even know whether they are going to college or not. I know I want to, but I’m unsure what for. But the good thing is: I don’t need to worry about that right now. There’s a long journey ahead. There’s a long journey ahead for all of us.

And now I wonder how others feel. Are they just as scared as me? Are they excited or possibly even thrilled to be here in such a new and intimidating environment?

And I suppose here starts the next four years of our academic journey. And I know I’m not doing it alone—we are not doing it alone. All of us are like caterpillars in a way—we are transitioning into a glorious butterfly who will do great things. We will learn things that will help us in college and beyond, whatever we decide to do. There’s no need to be scared…this is all so new and exciting. Because we are different. We are ready for high school.